


I'm With You // Kim Namjoon

by JustMattie



Category: K-pop, Kim Namjoon - Fandom, Rap Monster - Fandom, bts
Genre: Angst, Los Angeles, Love, Military, Music Production
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-07-30
Updated: 2018-10-19
Packaged: 2018-12-08 17:08:52
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 8
Words: 11,632
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11651013
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/JustMattie/pseuds/JustMattie
Summary: at 3 a.m on a cold street in seoul, namjoon found himself feeling hopeless and alone. there was an emergency, one he didn't feel he had the capacity to handle by himself. beneath the fluorescent lights of a nearby convenience store, you stood. stocking the shelves, you were caught off guard him suddenly bursting through the door, needing some help that just so happened to be yours.





	1. The Crux

// namjoon's pov //

He pursed his lips as he rearranged the raw files once. Then twice. Then for the third time. Something wasn't right, and he could feel that. The problem was, he couldn't pinpoint the culprit that was throwing him off.

Sweat beaded his forehead as he bit his chapped lips in concentration. Deadlines were looming over his head, and to say he was stressed would've been an understatement. He loved his job, but at times, it made him despise the thing he loved the most; writing music. The job was stressful, hung on strict timelines, and was overall demanding. He endured all of that to produce something beautiful for someone else to stick their name on. He was constantly robbed of recognition.

But, as his best friend once said, "That's life. At least you're making money."

To that, Namjoon could never seem to find a decent argument.

"Oliver's going for a coffee run. You want something?" Carson, another audio producer from the same company as Namjoon, asked from the opposite side of the room. Namjoon paused the track and sighed, rubbing his eyes for a moment. It was nearly two in the morning now, and he had a decision to make; push through his exhaustion to finish the song on time, or acquire a few hours of sleep that were desperately needed.

"Joon?" Carson called out again at Namjoon's lack of initial response.

"Yeah, tell him I want the usual," Namjoon ended up complying despite the exhaustion that was stinging his eyes.

"K," Carson swiveled his chair back toward his own computer, quickly immersing himself back into his own fresh set of musical tracks.

For Namjoon, that night wasn't much different than any other. The light of the computer monitor illuminated his face as he drank endless cups of liquid caffeine, ate unhealthy cup noodles, and probably listened to his music at a volume that was far past being healthy for his ears. It was a kind of night that was typical for him, one where he bridled back his emotions by pushing himself to work harder. It was a day that was exactly the same as the ones prior to it. 

Until it wasn't. 

It had been nearly a half hour since Oliver had left to retrieve coffee from a 7-Eleven that was only three-quarters of a block away. It would normally take him an average of 9 minutes to leave, run and grab coffee or snacks, and return. But, that night, the time had abnormally tripled and was strange enough to pull both Namjoon and Carson away from their work. 

"I wonder where he's at? It never takes him anywhere near this long," Carson prompted the conversation, swiveling his chair around to face Namjoon. 

"Maybe he stopped off at one of the other floors and is caught up talking with someone?"

"Hmm, you're probably right...Our poor coffee, though..." Carson sighed, leaning back in the chair. "I'm gonna fall asleep."

"I'll go buy us new ones. No matter where he's hung up at, our drinks are definitely cold by now."

"Really, you'll go? Joon, you're the best," Carson flashed a heart sign before promptly falling asleep in the middle of the conversation. He did that rather often while working, even during the daytime. At No Love music studio, consistent sleep cycles among both artists and producers were a rarity. 

Namjoon grabbed his wallet and hoodie, preparing himself to step out into the cold night. 

He didn't really think about much of anything as he took the elevator down to the first floor, exited the front doors, and began the small trek down the sidewalk. His mind was more fixated on getting his feet to take him to the refreshing coffee that he needed to have any hope of finishing his track by the allotted deadline. He wasn't wondering about Oliver's whereabouts, nor was he curious if Carson had woken up and gotten back to work yet. He was in a strange state of being awake, but not quite feeling like he was. The cold air bit at him despite his several layers of warm protection, and that, Namjoon decided, was the only thing keeping him from falling asleep right there on the sidewalk. Even though Seoul was a city that really never slept, it was 3 a.m on a side street that never experienced much party traffic, rendering Namjoon to find paying attention to his surroundings unimportant. 

He wasn't very coherent, but then suddenly, he was. 

At first, his eyes weren't sure what they were seeing as he approached the corner he was supposed to turn to reach the 7-Eleven coffee. He blinked, almost as if he felt the need for his eyes to verify what he thought the shape was. Someone was on the sidewalk, sprawled out in a manner that wasn't exactly typical to find on the street. Namjoon thought that maybe the person had partied too hard or something, and couldn't get back home before passing out. So, he approached the person slowly to see if his hypothesis was correct. 

That's when he recognized the person on the ground; Oliver. 

It only took a few more seconds for Namjoon to consider the reality of the situation, and that something was seriously, very wrong here. Oliver wasn't caught up talking to people in the No Love studio. Oliver didn't even have any coffee with him; He never even made it inside the 7-Eleven. Instead, for some unknown reason, he was passed out on the sidewalk, not having been found because the streets were empty in this part of town. 

Namjoon continually kept reminding himself to stay calm after he verified that Oliver was breathing. The breaths he was drawing, however, seemed shallow and dangerously uneven. 

Namjoon knew that the panic rising in his chest would soon overcome him completely if he didn't actively fight against it. He knew he needed someone else's help, and he found his hands shaking intensely as he strained to try and find his phone to call an ambulance. 

It was upon that moment his blood ran cold, realizing that his phone was back in the studio. He stood from the ground where Oliver was lying unconscious, frantically looking around. He turned the corner, the bright fluorescent lights of 7-Eleven catching Namjoon's eye like a bright beacon of hope. He rushed toward it, bursting through the door, his breath gone from him, not due to the short sprint, but because the fear he felt was causing his heart to continually spike at an uncomfortable rate. 

"Oh, hi! Welcome to-" a girl who was stocking shelves to the left of the door started to say before Namjoon anxiously cut her off. 

"I need a phone."

"Oh, what-"

"I need a phone, now! My friend is out there collapsed on the sidewalk, so call an ambulance!" Namjoon nearly shouted, frustrated at all of the idle time as Oliver was helplessly alone outside. The girl's eyes grew wide then as she nodded in understanding, rushing to the counter to grab her cell phone. She dialed quickly, gave the address without hesitation, and hung up mere seconds later. 

"An ambulance is coming," She said, "Do you need anything? What can I do to help?" she shoved her phone back in her pocket as she returned to the door, flipping the sign to Closed. 

"I don't know, I don't know what to do," Namjoon could feel himself slipping into a full-on panic attack, the first episode of anxiety this severe he'd experienced in a while. If he didn't get a grip, he knew he would hyperventilate and pass out like he had a few times in the past. 

"Can you tell me your name?" The girl was remaining strangely calm despite the severity of the situation. Deep down, he was grateful that she was being levelheaded and not panicking alongside him as that was only likely to make his anxiety even worse. 

"Namjoon. Kim Namjoon," he replied, consciously trying to focus on his breathing as he pushed the door open and walked back out into the cold Seoul air. 

"Okay, Namjoon, I'm Skylar. Take me over to your friend, alright? We'll wait with him until the ambulance arrives. But, I need you to try and calm down. You're looking really pale," she instructed easily, her voice comforting to his ears. 

Upon reaching Oliver, Namjoon was continually pacing, unable to stay still due to the panic. 

"What happened?" Skylar inquired, crouching down to examine Oliver.

"I-I don't know, I wasn't here...I wasn't here," Namjoon felt himself becoming more frantic by the second. "Ugh, I'm dizzy."

She stood suddenly then, grabbing Namjoon by the shoulder to stop him his pacing. His eyes widened at the sudden contact, her eyes looking straight into his. "You should sit down. You're going to end up having a panic attack, and I can't catch you if you start falling." He nodded, for some reason finding himself complying with her orders rather easily. He knew she was right, after all. 

So, he sat. The panic didn't subside one bit, but she sat beside him, watching carefully. "It's all going to be okay," she said, the ambulance approaching seconds later. A tiny ounce of relief overcame Namjoon then at the sight of people that could help his poor friend. The paramedics were out of the ambulance immediately, one trying to ask questions. 

"I don't know what happened. He left over a half hour ago, okay? I don't know how long he's been like that," Namjoon felt himself getting upset, unreasonably blaming himself for not going out to look for Oliver sooner. He was frustrated by every question they asked that he couldn't answer. 

They lifted Oliver up into the ambulance so quickly before advising Namjoon to not join them in the vehicle to go to the hospital. 

"What?! You're not even going to let me come when my friend is a state like that?!"

"Namjoon," Skylar intervened suddenly, tugging on his sleeve. "I'll drive you. It's probably for the best." She nodded at the last paramedic before he jumped into the back of the ambulance, pulling the doors shut, the car taking off a second later. Her dark hair rustled in the wind, wisping around her face. 

Namjoon stood in shock as he watched them take his friend away, unable to believe how quickly everything about this night had suddenly changed. 

"Come on, my car is just down the street," Skylar's words snapped him out of his momentary daze. 

"You don't have to..."

"I don't mind. My boss will understand why I had to leave, and you were the first customer I'd had since midnight anyway. Come on," she said again, and he reluctantly began to follow her. 

He sat himself down in the passenger seat, buckling his seat belt and allowing his eyes to close after he did so. 

"I know you must be feeling pretty helpless right now," Skylar began gently, "But this isn't your fault, and your friend is good hands now."

"Why are you being so kind to me?" he asked, his eyes remaining closed. 

"Do I need to have a reason?"

"I guess not," he leaned his head over against the window, "I don't know you, but thanks for being here."

"Rest up, Namjoon. I'm with you."


	2. the predisposition

//your pov//

What Namjoon didn't know was that from your perspective, he wasn't actually a complete stranger, and neither was his friend. Of course, you weren't close to either one of them. You didn't know their names or line of work. Nor did you know their age, their family history, or what they enjoyed to do in their free time. But, you knew what kind of coffee they liked, and what kind of ramen they enjoyed for dinner.

You'd been working at that 7-Eleven for two years. And nearly every day for two years as you worked the night shift to pay for your law school tuition, you had watched them enter the store and repeatedly purchase the same things. Sometimes it would be who you now knew as Oliver. He would always be wearing some kind of funny button down shirt that was decorated with unorthodox patterns such as kittens or space aliens. His informal and rather "out-of-this-world" attire had always made you curious about what exactly his occupation was, and why he was always buying coffee in the middle of the night. His foreign Korean pronunciation sparked interest in you as well considering it was blatantly obvious he wasn't a native.

Other times, it would be Namjoon who came to the store to purchase exactly the same products that Oliver always did. For this reason, you began to hypothesize that perhaps the two boys knew each other in some way. Your hypothesis was unfortunately not proven until that fateful night when Namjoon barged in, searching for help.

But Namjoon was always kind when he came into the store. Even though it was likely he never remembered your name, he would always spout off little bits of encouragement when he noticed you studying thousand page long books about law. A quick little cheer of, hwaiting, while you scanned the three cups of ramen and three cups of coffee always managed to lift your spirits.

Every few months he would come back and his hair would be a completely different color, prompting more curiosity to sprout within you. His attire changed from season to season, but no matter the weather or time of year, he was always well dressed. Sometimes he wore glasses, and other times he didn't.

And without truly internalizing it, you had become all too interested in the lives of these two people that you barely knew. Perhaps your job was too boring, or maybe you were just lonely. But, you found yourself wondering about them often without considering that you could personally ask them questions any time they came into the store. For some reason, you wouldn't relieve your curiosity by shooting up a casual conversation. You were strangely content watching them from afar and making up stories in your mind about what they might be like. You never really intended for anything to begin with either one of them. Because they were just customers, and you were just a cashier.

Until that night happened.

So as you sat in the car beside Namjoon who was obviously trying to refuse tears that he really should've just let fall, you kept finding herself feeling rather surreal. It felt strange to be in such a close proximity to someone whom you had so many questions about. It felt strange that the reason you was in such close proximity to him was that other boy, Oliver, was in some unknown dire health situation. The whole night was weird and seemed like a strange dream.

"Are you still feeling faint? Do you want me to turn the air conditioner on?" you asked after having spent nearly ten minutes in silence with him. They would arrive at the hospital soon, but for now, your priority was making sure that he didn't pass out from the panic or shock. He had looked so distraught before, and even though you barely knew the boy, it really hurt to watch him so upset. You'd intentionally kept quiet in the car to allow him some time to process what had just happened. From prior personal experience, you could resonate with how he was feeling and wished to do what you could to make this terrible day more bearable.

"No, thanks. I think I'm fine," he lifted his head up from where it had been resting on the window, briefly rubbing his eyes. "Sorry if I seemed dramatic. I have panic attacks if I don't keep everything in check during stressful situations," he explained.

"You aren't being dramatic. That's a real thing you struggle with. No need to apologize for it," you turned her head for a moment to check if another car was coming before switching lanes and then turning into the hospital parking lot.

"It's just...I keep getting bothered by the fact that it took me so long to find him," Namjoon admitted, his sudden vulnerability with words surprising you.

"Why would you need to feel guilty about that?"

"Because if I hadn't left the studio to go buy coffee because Oliver was taking so long, I wouldn't have found him on the street. Nobody would've found him until morning, probably. And by then...It may have...It might have been too late," he seemed like he had to force the latter sentences out. Her mind caught on his mention of a studio, but you knew now wasn't the time to pry at him with unrelated personal questions. You parked the car.

"You're right. Maybe it could've happened that way."

"Huh?"

"But it didn't happen that way. So there's no use in you feeling guilty over something that didn't happen," you matter-of-factly as you turned the car off and removed the key. 

"You don't have to come in. You've helped me enough tonight," Namjoon unbuckled his seatbelt and opened his door. You ignored him, exiting the car as well and locking it after doing so.

"If the roles were reversed, would you leave me and go home right now?"

Namjoon considered the question for a short moment. "I wouldn't."

"That's what I thought," you said, the both of them beginning to walk toward the entrance of the building.

"But you don't know me, so how could know my character? Why did you expect that I would do the right thing? He asked questions that you were unsure how to properly answer. You were as honest as possible, though, despite the fact that you barely understood your own thoughts.

"I don't know. Maybe it's just a gut feeling," you explained simply, and he didn't ask any further details.

Upon entering the hospital, Namjoon was turned away the front desk as they currently couldn't give him any information about Oliver. The receptionist told them to wait and that they would be notified as soon as there was any solid news to give. The ambiguity of the situation obviously upset Namjoon, and the tears that he hadn't let fall before seemed to have come back.

"Do we need to call his family?" You inquired after encouraging Namjoon to sit down in the waiting area. He looked exhausted, both physically and mentally.

"Oliver's from Canada. There's no one in Seoul to call," his head hung low, "Except Carson, I guess," he muttered. "Can I borrow your phone again?"

"Sure," you handed the cell phone to him and watched as he dialed the number from memory. You sat down beside him, able to easily observe the phone conversation. Whoever Carson was, he answered on the third ring.

"Dude, where are you? It's been over a half hour. Is there a break room party that I wasn't invited to or something?" Carson whined, sounding just as tired as Namjoon did. You wondered again what these boys did for a living.

"Oliver's in the hospital," Namjoon began explaining slowly, seeming unsure of his words.

"What?"

"I found him passed out on the sidewalk by 7-Eleven. Y/N called an ambulance, and now he's in the hospital...I-I'm sorry I didn't go looking for him sooner," he was beginning to choke on his words.

"Who's Y/N? And why are you apologizing? Thank God you found him! What hospital are you at? I'll come now."

"Y/N is the 7-Eleven cashier who was kind enough to help me," Namjoon looked over a there for a moment then, "They won't tell us anything right now, so I don't have any clue what's wrong with him. You don't have to come." He pulled the phone away from his face for a moment, "Y/N, really, you don't have to stay." Namjoon seemed apologetic.

"I know I don't have to," you crossed your arms and leaned back in the chair, making it clear that you weren't going to leave him there alone. That's not the kind of person you were. If you left now, not only would you feel guilty about it, but you would worry and wonder about everything that had happened for several days following.

"We're at Seoul National University Hospital. Second floor. Call me when you get here," Namjoon sighed and hung up after saying goodbye.

"Is Carson a foreigner as well?" you asked, partially because you were curious and partially as a way to get Namjoon's mind removed from the situation at hand for a moment.

"Yeah...He's from Sydney."

"How'd you end up working with so many foreigners?"

"We're producers at the same music studio. You don't have to speak Korean to produce good music..." he seemed detached and his answers lacked emotion. He was still fighting tears, though, and that bothered you.

"It's okay to cry, you know?"

"I'm not gonna cry."

"I didn't say you had to. I'm just saying it's okay if you do."

He was quiet for a moment before responding. "Thanks." 

"Is it better if I shut up? Or does talking help you to feel calmer?" you picked at a loose thread on the 7-Eleven apron you didn't have time to remove before leaving the store. 

"You can talk to me," he murmured, fidgeting, twirling his thumbs in a restless manner. 

"What music studio do you work for? Something big and famous? JYP? SM?" 

"No, nothing like that," he almost chuckled, "I work at an indie label called 'No Love'."

"'No Love'? That sounds kind of sad. I mean, doesn't everyone want love?" you yawned and Namjoon continued to fidget. 

"We're an indie studio; an edgy name is necessary, even if we don't actually live by it," he explained. 

"Fair enough."

"What about you? What do you do?"

"Work at 7-Eleven," you gestured toward the blue uniform you were wearing. 

"You're always studying when I come in. I know you do more than scan barcodes and check ID's before high school kids attempt to buy Soju." 

You laughed, "I'm in law school."

"Wow, a law school girl. I'm impressed," Namjoon smirked, "No wonder you work so hard."

"Law school is expensive," you yawned again, leaning back in the chair.

"You seem tired," Namjoon said. 

"Just a little."

"Rest up for a bit. I'll wake you up when we know something."

And so you listened, eventually nodding off to sleep, your head on Namjoon's shoulder.


	3. the terrible things

your POV

"Namjoon, wake up."

Someone shook his shoulder.

"Wake up, both of you," that voice sounded unfamiliar. Namjoon's tired and heavy eyes slowly rolled open was faced with Carson who was standing in front of him. Namjoon's head was resting against yours, both of you having fallen asleep unintentionally.

Namjoon sat up, feeling groggy and disoriented. You shifted beside him, waking up as well.

"What's going on? Where's Oliver?"

"I don't know, I just got here," Carson said, "But, Sunny's been calling your phone like crazy. I answered and told her that you were at the hospital for Oliver. You should call her," Carson handed Namjoon his cell phone.

"Is something wrong with Youngmi?" Namjoon's voice filled with worry then, and he took the phone from Carson.

"Youngmi?" you asked, wondering who Carson was talking about and how they related to Namjoon.

"No, nothing's wrong. Sunny just said that Youngmi is missing her father and that you were expected to be home an hour ago. Today is her birthday..."

Father?

Namjoon let out a heavy sigh, rubbing his eyes for a moment. "I forgot, Sunny had arranged for me to take Youngmi to dinner."

"No offense, Joon, but how could you forget that?" Carson grimaced, taking a seat down beside him.

"It's all these deadlines lately, they're crowding up all the space in my head," he sighed again, "Excuse me for a second while I call."

Namjoon got up from his chair, walking off down the hall, putting the phone to his ear as he did so.

"I'm Carson," Carson said, extending his hand toward you, "I work with Namjoon."

"Yeah, he told me about you. I'm Y/N," you shook his hand.

"Nice to meet you."

"You too."

You stared off down the hall at Namjoon who was looking stressed.

"I hate to be intrusive," you started, "But who is Namjoon talking to?"

"His daughter, Youngmi," Carson yawned.

"He has a daughter?" you asked even though you already knew the answer. You were really asking for more clarification or an explanation. Namjoon looked so young...

"Yeah, she turned four today," Carson said, "Sunny is his friend from high school who watches Youngmi while Joon's working. I think she's pretty fed up that he didn't come home on time. He's bad about working too much."

"What about Youngmi's mother?"

Carson merely shook his head as Namjoon came back toward the both of them.

"Sunny's furious," he said, sitting back down in his chair. "And Youngmi's already asleep." You could tell just by looking at him that he was beating himself up.

"Everybody makes mistakes, Namjoon. Don't be so hard on yourself. You had this whole thing with Oliver to attend to as well," you reminded him.

"Yeah, but even when Oliver was still at the studio, I wasn't thinking about Youngmi. I'm a terrible father," he breathed, leaning over and resting his head in his hands.

You looked over at Carson, your eyes pleading with him for help. You didn't know what to say to Namjoon or what to do next.

"She's young but she'll understand, and she'll get over it," Carson said, "I agree with Y/N. You shouldn't be so hard on yourself."

"I really should go home," Namjoon said, sitting upright, his eyes looking like they were going to be overcome with tears at any moment.

"What about Oliver?"

"I don't know. I didn't say I wanted to leave. I just said that I should."

"I'll stay tonight, or until they can tell us anything. You go home, Namjoon," Carson offered, and Namjoon grimaced.

"I don't know..."

"Go. Sunny can't go home until you get there anyway. It's late."

"I can drive you," you added, and Namjoon nodded weakly.

"Okay."

/////

"I never would've guessed that you had a daughter," you said, attempting to make light conversation during the drive to Namjoon's apartment. You didn't want to give him any time to be so caught up in his own head. "How old are you?"

"I'm 22," he said, his gaze concentrated out the window.

You did the math in your head. Namjoon was 18 when Youngmi was born...He was a teen father.

"Look, I know you're feeling terrible right now, but please do try to cut yourself some slack. It's not exactly been the best day for you."

"I just can't believe I forgot her birthday. I'm her dad, I'm not supposed to forget things like birthdays. And now Oliver's in the hospital with some unknown health issue, and I just feel like everything is falling apart." His voice broke then, and then he was crying. Finally, after hours of suffocating his emotions, he let them all come rushing out. You felt proud of him for that. He wasn't pretending to be strong anymore. You respected him for that.

"Youngmi will forgive you and Oliver will be okay," you reassured him even though you were unsure of those realities. You just felt compelled to help make him feel better, to comfort him.

"I'm sorry to have dragged you into all of this," he sniffled.

"Don't be. I'm glad I was there to help you."

"Take a left here," he said, and you glanced over at him. He was visibly trying to calm himself down and take deep breaths.

You turned, arriving at Namjoon's apartment complex that was just 2 blocks away from the No Love studio.

"Thanks for bringing me home. Thanks for everything, really," he said as you pulled over and turned the car off.

"You don't need to thank me."

"Let me see your phone?" he asked, wiping away the last of his tears. You handed it to him without question. He typed in his number.

"Save me as a contact?" he asked as if you were going to say no.

"Of course."

"I'll call you once I know something about Oliver...If you want me to, anyway." Namjoon looked away.

"Yeah, I want you to."

"Okay. Text me your name so I can save your number." Namjoon said, unbuckling his seatbelt. "I should go in."

"Okay."

He opened the car door, starting to get out.

"Namjoon," you said before he shut the door.

"Yeah?"

"Try to get some rest, okay? You deserve it."

"I will."

/////

Namjoon's POV

"You're here, good," Sunny said as Namjoon unlocked the door and let himself in. "Have you been crying?"

"Yeah," he grumbled, taking off his coat and hanging it up by the door.

"How's Oliver doing?"

"I still don't know anything."

"I'm sorry, Joon."

"Yeah, me too. Youngmi been asleep for long?"

"A few hours by now," Sunny glanced at the time on her phone. "Just let her sleep. Talk tomorrow."

"Did she cry?"

"No, but she was upset. You know how she is though; tries to stay strong and not show her emotions if she can help it...Just like her daddy."

"I'm sorry to keep you here so late without warning you ahead of time. When I found Oliver, I just, I didn't even think to let you know and that was really irresponsible of me."

"It's okay. I understand why things happened the way they did. Just, do something and try to make it up to Youngmi, yeah?"

"Definitely."

"I'm going to go now. Do you still need me to watch her tomorrow?"

"No. I'm not going to work tomorrow."

"Are you sure that's a good idea?"

"I've stocked up a lot of sick days. And I don't want to be away from Youngmi again."

"Okay. Call me if you change your mind."

"Will do. Bye, Sunny," Namjoon said as she left.

He went and sat down on the couch, letting out the 100th sigh of the night. He was absolutely exhausted and emotionally overwhelmed, and he had many things to deal with tomorrow.

However, your words echoed around in his head about how things would be okay, and that just barely managed to give him some hope.


	4. the reflection

//namjoon's POV//

Namjoon woke up early the next morning even though what his body really needed was about 10 hours of deep sleep. He knew that nothing would really make up for the fact that he completely missed Youngmi's birthday, but he still wanted to at least get up and make her favorite breakfast of pancakes.

He wasn't the best in the kitchen, but pancakes were at least something easy that he was relatively good at making. He had just put the finished pancakes on two plates when Youngmi dragged herself into the kitchen, pouting.

"There's my princess," Namjoon cooed, making sure the stove was turned off before kneeling down to meet her level.

"You didn't see me yesterday," she pouted, her bottom lip sticking out and her head hung low. Namjoon felt an extreme wave of guilt at the sight of his child looking so disappointed because of him.

"I know. Daddy's sorry, okay? He was busy with work and had to help a friend that got sick," Namjoon tried to explain, but he knew he really couldn't justify his actions.

"But I turned four and you missed it," Youngmi started crying then, holding up four fingers.

"I know, I'm so sorry," Namjoon gently pulled her into a hug then, allowing his daughter to cry on his shoulder.

"I-I just miss you," Youngmi cried, and Namjoon held her a little tighter.

"I miss you too, baby," he said, holding her for a few moments more before pulling away. "Listen, I'm going to be around more now. We'll spend more time together, I promise."

"Pinky promise?" she sniffled, holding out her pinky to him.

"Pinky promise," Namjoon said, locking his pinky with hers. "Now," he said, wiping away the last of her tears, "Let's eat breakfast."

/////

After Youngmi ate all of her pancakes, Namjoon sat on the couch beside her to watch her favorite cartoons. He was trying to be in the moment and enjoy some quality time with his daughter that he'd been missing a lot of lately. However, his mind kept floating back towards Oliver.

Namjoon had received a text early this morning from Carson, saying not to worry because Oliver was in stable condition. The only problem, however, was that the doctors weren't sure what was wrong with him. Carson said he'd be undergoing testing for the rest of the day, or until they could find something to explain why he passed out on the sidewalk when he previously believed he was in perfectly fine health.

As if on cue, while Namjoon was wondering about everything, his phone started ringing.

"What's up?" Namjoon said, easing up off the couch so Youngmi would still be able to hear her cartoons.

"Oliver is allowed visitors for the next few hours," Carson sounded extremely tired, having spent the night in the hospital. "Do you want to come to see him before they start testing again?"

"I do, but I have Youngmi and I already told Sunny she could have the day off. She posted on Instagram earlier that she was taking a trip down to Jeju," Namjoon sighed, "I'll have to pass."

"Can't you just bring her to the hospital with you?"

"It's flu season, Carson, I don't want her around all the germs," Namjoon replied, "It's one thing for me to get sick, but it's another for her to."

Namjoon felt quite convicted because he honestly wanted to see Oliver. He wanted to see that he was doing okay and that he was in fact, alive. Last night had been somewhat traumatic for Namjoon, and he felt like the only way he was going to feel relieved of all the stress was if he saw Oliver with his own eyes.

"What about the girl from last night? Y/N? Do you trust her?"

Namjoon considered it for a moment, biting his lip before answering, "I do."

"Have her come to pick you up and she can take Youngmi for ice cream or something while you visit with Oliver. C'mon, Joon, he's going to ask about you if you don't come and I don't want to have to explain everything to him."

"I'll see what I can do," Namjoon sighed, and hung up the phone.

/////

//your pov//

You woke to the sound of your phone ringing, and you reached over to your nightstand, blindly attempting to remove it from the charger. You could tell from the light on the walls that it was mid-morning at least, but you didn't feel bad for sleeping in. Last night had been absolutely crazy, and you had earned a good night's sleep.

Your eyes widened once you saw Namjoon's name lighting up your cell phone screen, and you answered it immediately.

"Hello?"

"Good morning, Y/N," he sounded relatively well-rested, and you felt relieved that he had actually gone to bed as you told him to.

"Morning," you replied, "Any news?"

"Just what I was calling you about...But, I need a favor...another favor, I guess," his voice sounded a bit hesitant.

"Sure, what is it?"

"Are you free right now?"

"Well, I just woke up, but yeah, I don't have any plans," you chuckled, sitting up in bed.

"I honestly hate to ask this of you..."

/////

//namjoon's pov//

Namjoon waited outside his apartment complex, holding Youngmi on one hip who was dressed in her favorite Hello Kitty coat, and holding an easily attachable car seat in the other. She had her face buried into his neck, trying to stay warm from the wind. Fortunately, they did not have to wait for long as you pulled up and parked just a few minutes later.

You got out of the car then, making your way over to Namjoon and Youngmi. You were wearing a knit black sweater and jeans; a simple outfit but one that Namjoon thought suited you very well. He found you attractive not just because you had good looks, but more-so because your personality was so caring.

"Hi Youngmi," you said, waving and smiling sweetly at the little girl.

"Can you say hi to Y/N?" Namjoon encouraged his shy daughter. He was trying to teach her to be polite from a young age.

"Hi," Youngmi squeaked before hiding her face on Namjoon's shoulder out of embarrassment. You giggled.

"She's cute."

"She is, thank you," Namjoon smiled, "Thanks for being here, I really appreciate it. I would just pay you to stay here and watch her in my  
apartment but as you know I don't have a car, and public transportation all the way across town is well, expensive," he grimaced.

"Don't worry about it, I'm happy to help. Come on, I'll hold her for a second and you can get the car seat put in. It's freezing out here."

"Can Y/N see you for a second?" Namjoon asked and Youngmi lifted her head up.

"D-Do you like Hello Kitty?" she asked quietly.

"I do," you grinned.

Youngmi reached out toward you, and you carefully took in her your arms.

"I like your jacket," Namjoon overheard you say as he installed the car seat in the back of your car. He wondered how you afforded to have one considering you were a broke law student for all practical purposes. That was something he wanted to ask you about later.

But, more than anything, he appreciated how you were treating Youngmi like she was your own. And it made him happy to see that Youngmi was being sweet and actually talking to you now.

Once everyone was all buckled up, you started driving toward the hospital.

"How long do you think you'll be?" You asked, glancing over at him. "No rush at all, I just thought maybe I could take Youngmi for some lunch while we wait?"

"Probably only 20 minutes or so. Why don't you guys just wait and then I'll treat you to lunch after? As a thank you for everything?"

"That works for me, but I'll pay for my own."

"You're the stubborn type aren't you?" Namjoon chuckled, "I want to buy your lunch. It's the least I can do."

"I'll consider it," you glanced over at him once more, flashing a quick smile before focusing back on the road.


	5. the aftermath

//namjoon's pov//

He took a few deep breaths before walking down the long hospital hallway, going to Oliver's room which resided at the end of it.

You had taken Youngmi across the street to a toy store, Namjoon having given you some money so she could pick something out as an extra birthday present. He felt better knowing that Youngmi was taken care of, but his stomach still hurt at the thought of seeing Oliver and possibly finding out what caused the whole incident.

"What does this mean for me?" that was Oliver's voice. Namjoon approached the open door slowly, peering inside. Oliver was in the hospital bed, surrounded by a doctor, Carson, and his girlfriend, Cath.

"We aren't sure yet," the doctor said, before looking over to see Namjoon who was hesitating in the doorway.

"Joon!" Oliver called out, "Come in, please."

Namjoon walked into the room, "Sorry if I'm interrupting."

"I'm glad you're here," Oliver said, "If it wasn't for you finding me...I don't know what would've happened. Carson filled me in on everything."

"Oliver, we'll take later," The doctor said, before excusing himself and leaving the room.

"So, any news about what happened?" Namjoon inquired, feeling a tremendous amount of relief at the sight of Oliver sitting before him, looking relatively okay. He mostly just seemed tired and a little hungover from whatever drugs they had given him.

"About that," Cath said, a hand on Oliver's arm. "They've been running tests all morning, and they found that Oli has a heart condition. That's what caused him to pass out in the middle of the street."

"What does that mean?" Namjoon asked, fear for his friend filling him up.

"We don't know yet, they want to do more testing," Oliver sighed, "Heart problems run in my family, actually, so this is unfortunately not coming as a huge surprise."

"I-I'm sorry I didn't come to find you sooner," Namjoon stuttered out.

"You don't need to apologize, Joon. How would you have known that I was passed out?" Oliver chuckled.

"I just feel bad."

"Well, don't."

"We should let him rest, you guys. Before they run more tests," Cath said, leaning down to give Oliver a kiss on the forehead before ushering everyone out of the room.

"I'm gonna go home and go to bed. I'll see you at No Love tomorrow?" Carson asked as he walked alongside Namjoon down the hallway.

"I'm taking a few days off."

"What about the track you were working on? Isn't the deadline coming up?"

"My family is more important to me right now. It can wait," Namjoon said firmly, "I don't want to make my daughter cry again because she misses me. That's irresponsible of me as a parent."

"Well, I'll cover for you the best I can. I think you're making the right choice," Carson patted Namjoon on the back, "I'll see you later."

/////

"What do you think of this one, Youngmi?" You asked, holding out a stuffed dolphin to Youngmi who was perusing the shelves of stuffed animals beside you. Namjoon smiled as he approached the two of you, the image of you alongside his daughter being something that warmed his heart more than he would have expected it to. 

"I love it!" Youngmi exclaimed, taking the stuffed dolphin from your hands, "What should I name her?"

"Whatever you want," You smiled, "Whatever you think would be best."

"There you both are," Namjoon gushed, and Youngmi excitedly turned around. 

"Daddy!" Youngmi exclaimed, "Look what Y/N helped me find!" She held out the dolphin. 

Namjoon crouched down so he could be on her level, "It's wonderful. Let's buy it, okay?"

"Okay!" she cheered, and Namjoon stood back up, the dolphin in hand. 

"Thank you so much for watching her for a bit," Namjoon thanked you as he led you both to the checkout counter. 

"Of course. Anytime."

/////

You, Namjoon, and Youngmi ended up at Mccallister's for lunch, per Youngmi's request. You and Namjoon both ordered soup while Youngmi opted for a grilled cheese as she claimed Mccallister's had the best in the world.

"Two separate tabs, please," you requested, but Namjoon shook his head.

"One tab," he looked over to you, "I told you I was going to pay."

"You really don't have to." You always felt awkward when anyone offered to pay for you despite the fact you were kind of broke and could sometimes use the extra help.

"I want to. One tab," he repeated, and the three of you got seated; you sitting across from Namjoon while Youngmi was beside him.

"So, what's going on with Oliver?" You'd been wondering how things went but you were trying to give him a moment to process whatever the news was before prying at him.

"Apparently it all comes back to some heart condition that he was born with. They're not sure exactly how this is going to affect him in the long term, though," Namjoon shrugged, "I'm just glad that as of now, he's okay."

"Me too. It was scary...Last night, I mean." You really hadn't had a lot of time to truly think about last night's events, but the gravity of the reality of the situation was starting to hit you. Last night could've gone horribly wrong, but you were forever grateful that it didn't.

"You seemed pretty calm and collected the whole time, though," Namjoon pointed out.

"I was just doing that for your sake. You know that theory that only one person can be full of stress and anxiety at once? Like one person being stressed makes the other person feel calm? I think that's what happened last night. You took on all the stress, which in turn made me feel calm."

"That makes sense...I'm glad you were there. I don't know what I would've done without you," Namjoon's eyes practically sparkled at yours, and you couldn't help but smile at him.

"Why are you guys just smiling at each other?" Youngmi piped up, interrupting the little moment you were having with Namjoon.

"Uh, we're just happy," Namjoon looked over at her, "Adults smile a lot when they're happy."

/////

Lunch conversation was light, and Namjoon paid the entire bill like he said he was going to. It was strange because you already felt so natural and comfortable around Namjoon and Youngmi even though you'd really on made his acquaintance yesterday. You felt yourself wanting to get to know him better, outside of the whole Oliver situation. You wanted to spend more time around him, but after today, you honestly weren't sure that you'd ever see much more than him other than his occasional visit to 7-Eleven. And that made you feel kind of sad. 

"You working tonight?" Namjoon asked in the car ride back home. Youngmi had fallen asleep in the back seat. 

"No, I have Sunday nights off from 7-Eleven. It's usually when I try to get caught up on law readings," You explained, your eyes not deviating from the road. You were being an extra responsible driver with both Namjoon and Youngmi relying on you. 

"Oh okay."

"You going to the studio?"

"Not for a few days. I've decided to get Youngmi set up with a preschool so that Sunny's not watching her all the time. I know it's November so it's kind of late, but having her at school and having to go pick her up will keep me on a more consistent work schedule. No more late nights at the studio for me."

"Why the sudden change of lifestyle? If you don't mind me asking."

"Youngmi basically woke up crying this morning because she was missing me...If that isn't a wake-up call I don't know what is."

"I'm sorry, Namjoon. That must've been tough to deal with," you genuinely felt sorry for him and wondered how much of a struggle it must be to be such a young single parent. This made you curious about Youngmi's mother and intrigued at Carson's head-shake of a response when you had asked about her before. 

"You don't need to feel sorry for me. I'm the one that wasn't putting my own child first," you glanced over at him, and his head was leaning against the window. It reminded you of his composure from the night before. 

"Don't beat yourself up. You're juggling a lot, remember that. I'm proud of you, that's for sure," you said the words before you had time to consider their weight, and you could only hope that Namjoon would receive your words well. 

You turned down the street of Namjoon's apartment and parked shortly after. 

"Y/N," he murmured, looking over to you. 

"Yeah?"

"I'd like...I'd like to see you again if that's okay."

You smiled. "You know where to find me."


	6. the honesty

//namjoon's pov//

Nearly two weeks passed before Namjoon saw you again. He was kicking himself for not going to see you sooner, but he was honestly and completely swamped at work. His little three-day vacation set him back more than he thought it would, but he still found that time spent off worth it as he was able to spend some quality time with Youngmi and get her registered for pre-school. She had just missed the mark for Pre-K this year because of when her birthday happened to fall.

He texted you a few times, though, to make sure that you didn't forget about him. He had interest in you, and he didn't want to let what little spark that had been ignited fade away because of him being busy. That, he just couldn't justify to himself.

namjoon: i know it's only 2 in the afternoon, but i was wondering if your shift had started yet?

you: just got here, actually. i start at 2 on tuesdays and thursdays, but not till 5 on all the other days.

namjoon: perfect.

you: you coming to see me finally?

namjoon: for a bit before i have to pick youngmi up. is that okay?

you: i was looking for a reason to procrastinate on my law assignments anyway.

namjoon: perfect x2

you: lol see you soon

namjoon: on my way.

/////

Namjoon arrived at 7-Eleven approximately 9 minutes later as he had walked straight from the studio. To his surprise and satisfaction, there was no else in the store when he walked inside.

"Namjoon!" you smiled, walking out from behind the counter to envelop him in a warm hug. He tried not to attach too much to this hug; perhaps you were just a touchy person. He hugged you back, nonetheless.

"How are you doing?" you asked as you pulled away, still smiling.

"Busy, but good. And yourself?"

"Same," you said, gesturing to the stack behind you of what Namjoon assumed to be law books.

"I'm not interrupting you too much am I?"

"As I said, I'm always looking for a reason to procrastinate. Do you want a soda? You don't have to pay, I won't tell anyone," you chuckled.

"Sure," Namjoon smiled.

You and Namjoon ended up sitting in the window seating as the wind was too cold for you two to sit outside. You were sipping on a banana milk while Namjoon had an orange soda. Still, no customers had come inside.

"Slow day, I guess?" he presumed, looking through the window out at the sidewalk. There was nobody to be seen. He couldn't help but let his eyes stall for a moment as he remembered the image Oliver laying on the sidewalk, unconscious. He looked back down at his soda.

"Yeah. It's been kind of slow all the time lately. Sometimes you and Oliver would be the only people I'd see for hours. I'm not sure how much longer this 7-Eleven is going to last, to be honest. It might just get itself run out of business," you sighed and sipped some more of your banana milk.

"That's too bad," Namjoon said, and you were both silent for a comfortable moment.

"Namjoon," you said suddenly. He looked over to you.

"Yeah?"

"Why did you want to keep seeing me?" He was struck by your honest question, and honestly, a bit caught off guard. It wasn't something that he was really prepared to answer.

"Uh, well..." He scrambled for a reason that wasn't the truth. He wasn't about to sound creepy and say yeah, Y/N, I know we've only met like twice, but I really like you and your personality and would like to see you all the time. He cringed internally.

"I guess you don't have to tell me," you laughed lightly, looking away for a moment.

"It's just that-" He blurted out, and you looked over at him, expectant this time.

"It's just that what?"

"It's just that you have this...warmth about you. This confidence. The way you helped me that night...I don't know, it just really struck a chord in me. You were so selfless at that moment, risking your job and everything for a couple of people you barely knew. I mean, you didn't have to drive me to the hospital and wait with me and watch my kid and everything, but you did. Because you're a good person," Namjoon didn't mean to say so much, but it all the words came tumbling out before he could stop them.

You seemed just as shocked by his words as he did. "Namjoon, I..."

"I just have found myself thinking about you, and being grateful for you a lot. I want the best for you. I just...I just feel...drawn to you, Y/N. I'm sorry if that's over the top, but it's the truth."

You let out a sigh of what sounded like relief. "I've been driving myself crazy lately..."

"Why?"

"Because I've been feeling the same way and kept thinking it was too much too soon. But to hear that you think about me too...I don't know it just brings me a lot of relief in my own mind," you shrugged, taking another sip of banana milk. 

"Tough circumstances bring people together, I guess?" Namjoon offered a slight smile, even though he now had more on his mind than ever. He was feeling overwhelmed by his emotions, and he didn't know what to do with that. He hadn't felt so drawn to a woman since...Well, since Youngmi's mother first came into his life. 

"You could say that," you agreed, neither of you making eye contact with each other. There was a lot of emotion there, but it was like neither one of you wanted to address it. Maybe you were both slightly traumatized by what happened that night, maybe all this emotion was just post-traumatic stress. 

Or maybe it was just simply that you and Namjoon both had been looking for someone to ignite that spark, and both of you were surprised that you'd apparently found that in each other. Namjoon wasn't sure. 

"So..." You started but trailed off. 

"So?"

"What do we do now? What does all this mean, exactly?"

"I don't know either." Namjoon sighed, finishing off his orange soda. He looked out the window again, to the spot where he found Oliver. "I just know that I don't want you to disappear from my life."

"Why would I do that?"

"If I learned one thing from that night, it's that things can change in an instant, and you can lose someone at the drop of a hat." He looked toward you. 

"You're right, things can change. And we usually can't control those changes. But, I'm not going to stop seeing you out of choice, Namjoon. You're on my mind too much..." You shook your head, "I can't believe I just said that out loud."

"I'm glad you did," he looked into your eyes then, meeting them for the first time in a while. "C-Can I take you out sometime? Just the two of us?"

"Yeah," you smiled, your eyes looking warm toward him, "I would like that."


	7. the date

//your pov//

It was a boring Sunday evening. You knew you should've been taking advantage of some downtime to just rest, but your mind was craving to be occupied. You had no TV shows to binge watch, no work to attend to, and you didn't even have any law readings to get done. You'd spent the whole day getting everything on your checklist finished, and even though you should've been exhausted from a day full of hard work, you were just...bored.

But then, like a light in the darkness, almost on cue, you received a phone call from Namjoon. And you answered on the first ring.

"Hello?" you said, almost a little bit too enthusiastically. It'd been nearly 5 days since you'd seen him last, but the two of you had been texting a little bit. That didn't change the fact that you were longing to see him in person and to continue spending time with him. So, you couldn't help your excitement when you saw that he was calling you.

"Y/N, it's good to hear your voice," he said, his voice sounding relaxed and calm. You loved his voice.

"Yours, too."

"I was wondering if you were free tonight?"

You grinned even though he couldn't see you.

"I'm so glad you asked because I was about to literally die from boredom."

"I'll take that as a yes?"

"Haha, yes, I'm free."

"There's going to be a lunar eclipse tonight...I was wondering if you wanted to go see it with me? There's a park close to my apartment that I love and I doubt it'll be too crowded," Namjoon explained. You smiled again.

"That sounds really fun. I'd love to join you."

"Do you want to come over now? I'll get us dinner? I would offer to cook but I would probably burn my whole apartment down."

"Sure," you chuckled, "I'll be there soon."

"Okay. Can't wait to see you," Namjoon cheered, "Bye, Y/N!"

/////

//namjoon's pov//

He rushed to the door the very second he heard you knocking, swinging it open with excitement. But he wasn't sure why he was so excited. There was just something about you...

"Joon," you smiled as you stepped inside, "Thanks for inviting me over."

"Of course. You hungry?" He shut the door behind you as you took off your coat, hanging it up beside Namjoon's by the door.

"Starving," you laughed, looking around. "Where's Youngmi?"

"Um, well," Namjoon scratched the back of his neck awkwardly, "I maybe sort of asked Sunny to watch her so we could enjoy our...our...date?" He blushed, and then internally cursed himself for being so unconfident.

"Oh, so this is a date?" you grinned.

"Well...If that's what you want it to be..."

"Do you want it to be a date?" you pressed.

"Yeah," he said, blurting it out before he could have time to think too deeply about it. He could feel the blush on his cheeks, growing stronger than it was before.

"Aw, Joon," you went over, unexpectedly hugging him. "You're cute. You don't need to be so shy. I was hoping it was a date, too."

He hugged you back, feeling grateful that you handled everything with such grace. Your stomach growling, however, interrupted the moment.

"Let's eat," Namjoon laughed, pulling away and leading you to the kitchen.

/////

You and Namjoon enjoyed Chinese takeout and mint-chocolate chip ice cream before it was time to leave to go and see the eclipse.

"Are you sure you don't want one of my jackets as well? Yours looks a bit thin," he said as you two were getting ready by the door to leave. It was very cold outside given that it was almost December, and Namjoon was worried about you.

"No, I'll be fine, don't worry," you shook your head, and then you both left to walk the two blocks to the park. You said you could've driven the both of you, but that you wanted to enjoy the nighttime air and the sky full of stars.

There were only a few other people at the park, so it wasn't difficult for Namjoon to find a bench for you both to sit on.

You shivered slightly as you and Namjoon looked up at the sky. it was a cloudless night, making it perfect for viewing the eclipse. He hesitated slightly before scooting a bit closer to you, putting his arm around you in attempt to keep you warm. Too bad you were too stubborn to take his extra coat as he had offered.

"I've never seen one of these before," you admitted, your voice full of wonder.

"Really? Does your place not have a good view of the moon or something?" Namjoon chuckled, marveling at how cute you were.

"I've just never really bothered to go outside while an eclipse was happening before, I guess," you shrugged, ever so slightly leaning into his side. Namjoon dared to take his eyes off the sky for a moment and focus them on you. It took a bit for you to notice his gaze.

"What?" you asked softly, turning to face him.

"Sorry," Namjoon muttered. He thought that maybe he was blushing again, but he hoped that with the darkness around you wouldn't be able to tell.

"You don't have to apologize for looking at me," you laughed. You were sitting very close to him, and the strange tension was becoming somewhat obvious. Differing from his recent pattern of behavior, Namjoon felt too shy to point out the elephant in the room of how he was feeling.

"Thanks for bringing me here," you said, carefully changing the subject. A cool breeze blew through, visibly making you feel colder.

"Should we go back?" Namjoon asked, taking notice of your shivering despite your long sleeves and his arm around you.

Your face fell. "You want to go back?"

"N-No," Namjoon stammered, "I just don't want you to be uncomfortable."

Why did he feel so nervous?

"Namjoon."

"Y/N."

You both started to talk at the same time, causing you both to burst into a fit of giggles. But, the mood grew serious rather quickly.

"Y/N," he said again, but he honestly wasn't sure where he was even going with that sentence. You seemed to sense his nervous energy, and suddenly, you made the first move.

You adjusted how you were sitting so you could see his face better. Namjoon's heart was pounding.

"I really care about you," Namjoon whispered, his eyes landing on your lips. They were so close to his, and he felt his self-control fading. "Can I kiss you?" 

Instead of responding, you gently brought one of your hands to his face, and leaned in, initiating the kiss for him. 

So, he kissed you back, so gently and so carefully at first because he was afraid everything would somehow disappear from him. He had experienced such intense heartbreak in the past that he found it terrifying to be so open and vulnerable with someone again. He was afraid of his heart being shattered again, being so damaged that it was beyond repair. He was so desperate, though. So desperate to love someone again, and to feel loved again. Desperate to not be alone all the time anymore. 

But it went beyond that. Because he really did care about you. If someone was going to glue back together all of his broken pieces, he wanted it to be you. And that, he just couldn't explain. It was too soon to feel such deep attachment, but he let himself feel it anyway. 

And as you continued to kiss him, Namjoon realized, he really no longer had any reason to feel afraid.


	8. the party

//your pov//

Things changed after that night when you and Namjoon had kissed each other. For the following three weeks, you both made more of an effort to consistently see each other, spend time together, and generally just get to know each other better. You would typically have to go to Namjoon's place as he had Youngmi to care for in the evenings, but you didn't mind at all. And he didn't seem to mind having some extra help with her as well.

However, the one thing you and Namjoon hadn't done was put a label on your relationship. Neither of you had really brought it up even though you'd kissed a handful of other times. But, you weren't really in a rush to label anything. You felt comfortable with how things were with Namjoon, and for all practical purposes, he was your boyfriend. And you were his girlfriend. Just, neither of you had said it yet.

"I'm nervous," you said one Friday evening. Snow was trickling down from the sky, you were tucked in Namjoon's side, and you had a cup of hot chocolate in your hand. It really should've been the most comfortable thing ever, but that wasn't all that was planned for the evening. Namjoon was taking you to No Love's Christmas party in half an hour, a party with all of his coworkers. Sunny was watching Youngmi for the night. 

"There's nothing to be nervous about," he kissed your forehead and smiled at you. "You've already met Carson and Oliver anyway."

"I don't really think you can say that I've 'met' Oliver. He was technically passed out in the street..." you said, "But, yeah, that's true about Carson. He seems really nice. I'm just worried that they won't, you know, like me."

"That's what you're worried about?" he chuckled, "Everyone at No Love thinks you're a hero for helping with Oliver that night. I haven't stopped bragging about you since we met. So, truly, there's nothing for you to be worried about."

"Thanks," you sighed, leaning against him and his soft black sweater. 

"Now, finish your hot cocoa and relax."

/////

//namjoon's pov//

Namjoon found your nervousness of wanting his coworkers to like you endearing. And even though you seemed to try and relax, he could tell you were still a bit on edge about the whole situation. 

"Only four days till Christmas," he said as you two walked hand and hand to the studio that was only half a block away. The snow had calmed and was already melting off the street. "Youngmi's very excited."

"What are your plans? Just the two of you on Christmas day?"

"Yeah, I won't see my parents till New Years. What about you?" Namjoon squeezed your hand slightly. 

"I have brunch plans with my family, but maybe you, me, and Youngmi could do something in the afternoon?" you offered. Namjoon smiled. 

"That would be great." 

You two turned the corner, the No Love studio now right before you. Namjoon noticed you take a deep breath. 

He dropped your hand, turning you and easily grabbing you by the shoulders. "Look at me." You met his eyes, a slight frown on your face. 

"They're gonna love you," he reassured you, "Now, come here." He pulled you closer to him, leaning in and giving you a soft kiss on the mouth. "Be confident. I'm with you."

/////

//your pov//

The common area between all of the individual studio rooms was decorated heavily for Christmastime. There were snack tables with red and green tablecloths, twinkly lights, and a huge tree to tie it all together. You hesitated by the door slightly, only feeling so nervous because you wanted to make a good impression on Namjoon's friends. He grabbed your hand again, locking his fingers with yours before proceeding. You were grateful that he always did whatever he could to make you feel comfortable. 

"Joon! How are ya, buddy? It's been a while!" a man you didn't recognize came up to the both of you, a huge grin on his face. 

"Hoseok!" Joon let go of you for a second to bro-hug Hoseok, seeming very excited. 

"Y/N, this is Hoseok, one of my oldest friends and producers here at No Love. He's been abroad for a few months," Namjoon explained as you and Hoseok shook hands. 

"Nice to meet you," Hoseok grinned again, and you felt yourself smiling back. Something about Hoseok's bright personality was almost contagious, instantly helping your nerves calm down and swaying you into a better mood. 

"Nice to meet you, too. I hope you enjoyed your time abroad."

"Oh, it was amazing! I sure have missed being back home, though," Hoseok looked away for a moment, his attention to being captured by something, or someone, else. "Sure have missed Rose, too," he murmured before offering a sheepish smile. "If you'll excuse me, I would like to go and speak with her for a moment. Again, nice to meet you, Y/N," he said, then scurried off. 

"Who's Rose?" you asked as you and Namjoon began to work your way around the room, Namjoon seemingly wanting to introduce you to people. 

"Hoseok's first and only love. They had a bit of a falling out before he went abroad, but I guess they're back on okay terms," Namjoon said before you two ran into Carson. 

"Y/N, what's up?! Glad you could make it," he greeted you, "Joon treatin' you well?" 

"Always," you giggled. 

"Of course I treat her well," Namjoon defended himself, laughing as well. 

"Hey I was just making sure-" Carson started, but was interrupted by a short girl with red hair, coming up from behind him. 

"Guys, it's Oliver. He's passed out again. I need help getting him to my car so I can take him to the hospital," the girl was visibly fighting tears, her entire body shaking. 

"Don't worry, Beth, we got him," Namjoon said with urgency, "I'll be right back," he said to you before leaving with Carson and Beth to go pick up Oliver. The party was continuing on like nobody had noticed that Oliver had passed out, but to be fair, it was crowded and the music was loud. You felt fear and worry rising in your chest at the fact that this all felt too familiar, and it seemed too soon for it to be happening again. 

You joined as Namjoon and Carson struggled to carry Oliver out the door, to Beth's car you assumed. It was snowing again once everyone made it outside, but Namjoon and Carson managed to get Oliver buckled into the car. 

"The doctor said this might happen again, but I really wish it wouldn't have been tonight," Beth's tears were falling then.

"Are you okay to drive?" Carson asked. "You know what, why don't you let me drive you?"

"O-Okay," she nodded before looking at Namjoon, "Thank you."

"Let's go," Carson said, opening the door to the backseat so Beth could sit next to Oliver and keep an eye on him. 

You and Namjoon watched in silence as they drove off. 

"That escalated quickly," Namjoon let out a breath, looking scared and worried, just like you felt. 

"He'll be okay," you told him, encircling him in a hug of comfort. 

And as you stood in the snowy street just trying to hold him together, you remembered that first night and wondered if things really would work out again.


End file.
